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Bridal Buzz Godmother Solves your wedding worries
Bridal Buzz godmother, Rebecca Baddeley from leading Midlands based bridal boutique, TDR Bridal Birmingham, takes on some of your wedding worries and solves them!
Q: I bought my dress but really regret it – I didn’t feel that overwhelming feeling that everyone talks about. What are my options?
JLJ, by email
A: Rebecca Baddeley replies: “The first thing you need to do is go back into the shop you bought from and retry your dress – you might surprise yourself. So many brides overthink the dress, looking back at photographs (taken by their Nana!) in poor light, with no makeup on and hair not styled, and this really can make all the difference to how you feel. If, after doing this, you genuinely can’t see yourself walking down the aisle in it then there are things you will need to consider. The bridal shop you will have purchased from will have a contract in place that says you must pay your balance on your existing dress. This is because the shop will need to protect itself from this eventuality because, believe it or not, the shop will be running at a loss until your balance is paid in full. They have a duty to every bride who buys from them to remain solvent and so be able to pay their bills, so please try and have a bit of empathy with them about this.
As a bridal shop owner, I know first-hand that this may not be what you want to hear but the question always asked is: “Can’t you just keep the dress and sell it on?” Unfortunately, this isn’t an option either, because the likelihood of having another bride into the store who wants the same dress, in the same colour and the same size, is not realistic, and the timeframe it would take to do this could potentially see a shop out of business.
So with all that said, your only viable option is to buy another dress as long as you have time and the budget. If you don’t have time you might want to look at dresses off the peg or in an outlet store. If you don’t have the budget, you could look at stores that offer finance options or offer payment plans.
Whatever you do, just make sure you are 100% making the right decision for you, and just so you know, not every bride gets that overwhelming feeling, remember it’s your journey, it’s your wedding and it’s about how you feel, not what anyone else feels. Just take your time and don’t feel pressured into making a decision that you will later regret.”
Q: We are on such a tight budget and it’s getting me down! What should we not scrimp on, and what are your best budget-busting tips?
Lucy, by DM
A: “There’s so much advice out there now on DIY weddings; some of it is fab, some of it not so great (imagine Don’t Tell the Bride on steroids!). Joking aside, there are lots of simple ways to save money and involve your nearest and dearest at the same time, I always find it good to give them a task! You can save money by making your own stationery or ordering through an online company, or even better, build a website and email the Invitations. Take a look at stylish weddings with no flowers, just foliage, this can save so much on the overall look of your day, and you could even start asking friends and family to grow flowers to add in and DIY the whole thing. Don’t feel pressured into providing gifts for everyone; ultimately, they’re involved with your wedding because they love you, not for a gift. DIY your favours if you feel you have to have them. Think about an afternoon tea experience or a pizza van rather than a full-on sit-down meal, there really is so much choice out there! The best advice I can give is please don’t skimp on your photography, it’s the only thing you will have after your day, and those memories are priceless.”
Q: I am estranged from my family and it’s making me really sad to think of my wedding with his lovely family all there and none of mine. Do you think I should try to patch it up with them, and how?
Fi, by DM
A: “I firmly believe that weddings, per se, are all about family. Whether celebrating with your family or creating your own little family, being married is about commitment and loving another human being, regardless and without influence from any outside situations or people. So if it were me, yes, I would try to reach out to your family. If the estrangement is over something that, in the grand scheme of life, is small and immaterial. However, I would also say make sure you protect yourself emotionally if you’re not 100% sure that this situation can be fixed with a little bit of love, empathy, understanding and compromise because I understand that everyone’s situation is different and unique to them. I would start by sending a heartfelt letter or text, just reaching out, explaining how you’re feeling, that you’re due to be married and you really want to share this special time with them. If you don’t feel you can reach them directly then maybe reach out to a mutual friend who could make contact for you. Whatever you choose and however you decide to go forward, I wish you all the best and hope everything works out for you… “
About Rebecca Baddeley
Rebecca is the owner of TDR Bridal – one of the UK’s biggest bridal boutiques, which is located in Birmingham. Rebecca is the perfect person to offer on advice for all weddings matters – she sees more brides walk through the doors of her boutique every day than most people do in a year, and she is as hands on as they need her to be – even giving her personal phone number to brides so that she can be there for them 24/7 in the lead-up to their big day.
Find out more about Rebecca and the brilliant TDR boutique and the amazing team that run it go to tdr-bridal.co.uk and find them on Instagram @tdrbridalbirmingham
If you would like our Fairy Godmothers to answer your wedding woes, please email firstname.lastname@example.org
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